Princess Sparkel

Once I went to the zoo and saw a monkey.

I have seen monkeys before. When I went to Gibraltar I saw big scary monkeys who stole my lunch (crackers and beer) and tore my jeans (True Religions. Not cool).

But this monkey was different. She was a pygmy Marmoset, and she was the smallest monkey I have ever seen. I imagined her sitting in the palm of my hand and eating the smallest banana. I thought she looked like a princess, not like those rank monkeys I saw in Spain. I called her Princess Sparkel...almost like Sparkle, but more fabulous.

When I saw P Sparks for the first time, she was in the smallest cage. Alone. I didn't know how long she had been in there by herself, but I couldn't fathom how she remained so premier without a friend or fancy cage like the Komodo Dragons next door. It made my heart hurt seeing that just because she is physically small, she has been defined as insignificant enough to justify that dank cage and those lonesome nights, with no other Pygmy Marmosets to love her.


I feel a little like Princess Sparkel right now. Caged. I don't think that is my natural habitat, either. Just like that claustrophobic cage isn't hers. I prefer to run wild like a wildebeest (my animal association)...to have the presence of mind to breathe deep and have simply a smile... to have that sparkle in my heart where I can catch that glimpse of the infinite and am deeply and essentially: fine.

Short story long...I think I am meant to sparkel. I don't think actually...I know this. When I am around people who understand this depth of existence; in a place that understands being still and silent and ok, I feel it. I feel the static electric spark in my heart which drives me to creativity, day dreaming, prayer, obsurdity. It is a ridiculous place of the divine. Full of my God.

Right now, I am losing track of that spark. I feel it smoldering deep within my skin, but I can't trace it's heat.

As I have put this bookmark in the pages of my life where I roamed and cared not for conventional wisdom, but longed for the loveliness of life. In exchange, I work at an insurance agency in suburban hell. Rational, I know.

But good news! There is redemption in this story!...praise God.

Alas! My Lindsay went to the zoo but only one week ago, and who did she report was surrounded by a gaggle of new Marmoset friends?!

You guessed it...none other than Princess Sparkel.

The zoo brought her life mates and her cage was much more crowded...but crowded with monkey love! And so will God answer my prayers for that spark that I so yearn for. For that light that breaks through the clouds and you can sigh, and know you will be alright.