Fashion Premonitions.

 I am a Europhile.  I am enamored with all things Euro.  From the cobbled, antiquated city streets to the unappoligetically smoked out cafes…I am obsessed.  However, on the heels of an upcoming European expedition, my frenzied mind settles on the superficial.  My mind takes me to the streets.  My mind takes me to fashion.

I had no understanding of fashion before I stepped off the plane, onto British soil for the first time back in December of 2005.   As a born and bred West Coast American, all I saw around me was North Face fleeces and boot-leg Abercrombie jeans.  I had always felt there was more fun for me to be had in the realm of apparel, but I didn’t see anyone around me having much fun with it.  I would routinely take 3 hours excursions to Value Village, trying on musty piles of anything interesting or original, inevitably looking more homeless than intended. I needed inspiration.

As I planned my 6 month backpacking trip through Europe in the Summer of 2005, I had no idea that I would find a wormhole to the future of American fashion as I arrived in London.  As I wandered through the halls of Heathrow airport, with my sister close behind, I surveyed the scene, and realized I may have stumbled upon my fashion Mecca. 

I had never seen anything like it.  People were dressing with confidence, and not just common sense.  They weren’t embarrassed to be interesting, but that instead appeared to be their goal.  My asthetically creative side imploded.  I could not wait to get to the store where these women were purchasing these knee high leather boots with almost unconscionable at home…skinny jeans.  The women appeared to, no matter the harsh weather, wear what made them feel good, not what just got them through the day.   Maybe, just maybe...these two could go hand in hand. I loved this concept.

You see, I have this issue back home in Bellingham, WA, the home of the fleece.  I find it especially hard to have fun with the way I dress, due to the responses I receive such as, “Well aren’t you dressed uuupppp???,” certain people would observe as I walked into the room.  

I mentally curse.

I never wanted to be dressed up.  I never wanted attention.  I just wanted to dress the way I feel….and I almost always feel fancy inside.  I wanted to go to a place where no one narrated my appearance as I walked into the room.  I wanted Europe.

I found Europe.  And it found me.  We may have been separated at birth.  Now, I am looking far across the country and the Atlantic, to my long lost, not so conjoined twin, asking…what pretty fun do you hold for me…old friend? 

I know America is about 5 years behind Europe fashion wise.  I know this because I am still proudly wearing the same clothes I scrimped to buy abroad, and could barely bear the burden of towing on my back for the remainder of my trip.  I wait on baited breath for what I am to find when I survey the current fashionable situation. 

My curiosity got the best of me, as it often does, and I investigated some of the current looks occupying the streets across the pond.  Here is what I found…

 From what I find, men are following close behind the trend setting women of yesteryear, and have decided to tuck their pant legs in their boot.  My immediate reaction is, "Oh Shitake" but then I realize I should doubt not the European man's ability to pull off a look.  

What I find most humorous about this trend, is that about 4 months ago, my unknowingly fashion-wise husband got on one of his not so unusual side-splitting tyrades about how unfair it is that girls get to tuck their pants into their boots.  He claimed to the Loyas and I, that everyday he bears the burden of dragging his pant hem on the wet and dirty ground, while females have the unjust advantage of opting for the tuck in.  He proceeded to tuck his baggy fleece pants into his boots, and strut around flamboyantly.  After the laughter died, we all decided that it just isn't time yet for this trend to come into existance.  It needed to lay dormant.  Little did we know, it was crawling out of the evolutional fashion sludge abroad.  I must admit, I am curious to see how they pull it off.  I sincerely hope it looks better than Cory did.

This just may have to be a trend I get a note signed by my mom for...because I am just not aloud to participate.  There are certain rules to abide by when dressing, (See What Not To Wear, TLC, Friday nights at 9PM) that trump all desires to be fashion forward.  If your body is shaped in a way that contradicts the desired effect of said fashion trend...be honest with yourself...and move on.  

That brings me to the low-crotched phenomenon that seems to be embodying 2010 casual fashion abroad.  It appears from my research that this look is acheived by wearing either pants with a crotch that hangs down to mid-theigh, or a pant that has such a long crotch that the waistband reaches bottom of ribcage.  Either of these effects are rejected by a pear-shaped womans body.  The huge crotchal region will inevitably be filled up by booty, either magnifying the already disproportional nether-regions, or creating an adult diaper effect.  Both are tragically unfortunate.  

Example:  Alicia Keys.  This beautiful, stylish, pear shaped AND preggo preformer sported the long crotched look at a recent concert, and in my opinion, it didn't go over as anticipated. 

Consensus: It seems, in order to pull this off, you MUST be 5'10" and 115 lbs.  I am always skeptical of a trend which harbors such guidelines.  NEXT!

It is so strange to me that in what feels to be my short lifetime, I am already seeing trends replay themselves.  Let's take the overall for example...it made a brief cameo in the mid 90's, when it seemed fashion was caught in a cyclone of dirty flannel and bad decisions.  But guess what...that twister as spent time travelling the globe and now...they're BAAACCCKKK! Often worn under the guise of comfort and practicality, the newest version of this uni-tardy number will have to be seen to be believed. 

As for the male poncho, I feel optimistic.  European men have the ability to transcend my preconceptions of what a "man" should look and take it somewhere that I am forced to mutter in my creepiest voice, "It's differen't, but I liiikkkkeee it."  I hope this is the case with the Male Ponch, (not to be confused with the other thing.)

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Obviously, Europe has much more to offer me than fabric configured in a way pleasurable to my eye…but I must say it feels good to know there are visual surprises down the road for me, for better and for worse.